26 July 2012

Life can be a bitch but we only have one!!! (my struggle with health anxiety)



Health anxiety is an anxiety disorder that is often housed within the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) spectrum of disorders. Those affected by health anxiety have an obsessional preoccupation with the idea or the thought that they are currently (or will be) experiencing a physical illness. The most common health anxieties tend to centre on conditions such as cancer, HIV, AIDs, etc. However, the person experiencing health anxiety or illness phobia may fixate on any type of illness. This condition is known as health anxiety, illness phobia/illness anxiety or hypochondriasis.
Those who are affected by health anxiety/illness phobia are convinced that harmless physical symptoms are indicators of serious disease or severe medical conditions. For example, if a person experiencing health anxiety or illness phobia feels that their chest is getting tight, they may believe that they are having a heart attack. Those with health anxiety frequently misinterpret physical symptoms of anxiety as a sign of an impending physical health problem.

Source


I have considered writing this post a few times but have always held back. It is not the easiest thing to write about but Ive been wanting to talk about it on my blog for a while, not to gain sympathy or for people to feel sorry for me but to share my experiences in the hope it may shed some light for somebody who may be suffering in silence.


Whilst living and working in America I got myself into a rather bad relationship, 'toxic' some would say. I wont go into detail but it ruined what should have been the best year of my life. It wasn't until a year after I returned to England that the effects started to take their toll. Painful memories brought on extreme anxiety and before long I was in a abyss of panic attacks and mild depression. I had been to the doctors a few times about the way I was feeling and they put it down to 'stress'!!!! Yes i was in my final year of Uni but I knew deep down it was way more than that.




 I would spend day by day worrying about something bad happening to me and that I wouldn't live past getting married and having kids. I would spend frantic hours studying my body for something wrong and I would get myself into intense panic if I found a lump, bump or blemish that wasn't quite right. I took to google almost everyday which is the worst thing to do because google is not accurate when it comes to diagnosing things to do with your health. I would turn over the channel if a programme came on tv about cancer or illnesses and I couldn't bear to read the paper in case of coming across a story of someone dying. People with health anxiety do 2 things, they avoid and they seek reassurance. My reassurance came in the form of my mum, if something wasn't right I would ring her and ask what she thought it was. She was an angel and put up with it the whole time. 
After countless visits to my GP she finally figured something was wrong and referred me to see a cognitive behavioural therapist. This initially terrified me....a therapist...I wasn't crazy, why do I need therapy? My first session however put me at ease, yes he explained that I had severe health anxiety but he told me I was already on the road to recovery as the first hurdle was accepting that I had a problem. I knew I had to do something about it before it took over my life. 
It was a long hard, tiring road before I started to feel improvements. Therapy was all about facing my fears head on and things got a lot worse before they started getting better. It wasn't until my last couple of sessions that I started to feel happier and the panic attacks started to reduce. My last session was so scary, I was on my own and it was up to me to fight this battle. I would say it took a good 6 months after my last session to start to feel myself again, I started to go back out with my friends and began to realise that life was far too short to spend everyday worrying. 
What I am saying is, please don't suffer in silence. If i hadn't have been honest with my feelings I may have gotten much worse and ended up destroying everything around me, my job, my friends, my family and my relationship. Yes I still have my bad days when I slip back into my old ways but I have learnt how to cope with it and where as before I would spend weeks worrying about something, now it may only be 1 day before I realise that we only have one life and I need to live it to the full
x





23 July 2012

Todays outfit- lace and spikes




Jeans- Topshop  
Top- H&M  
Shoes- Shoe Zone  
Bandeau- Primark  
Necklace- Dorothy Perkins

I am afraid I haven't got much to say today. I still don't feel quite human yet after this weekends antics. My work colleague turned 30 and had an awesome party at the top of Hilton in Manchester, free flowing champagne all night resulted in some messy dancing and I def paid for it the next day!!

x




22 July 2012

my latest bargain finds




Disk earrings- Miss Selfridge
Small crosses- Dorothy Perkins (part of a set for £1.00)
Hamsa hand dangly earrings- Dorothy Perkins £1.00
Disk Necklace- Debenhams £2.00
Spike necklace- Dorothy Perkins £2.00 
Stila tinted moisturiser- Poundland 
Olay face wipes- Home and bargain £1.00

I rarely pay full price for jewellery anymore. If you shop at the right time you can get some amazing bargains. How adorable are the hamsa hands earrings, I also love the spike necklace its really different to others I have seen in the likes of Topshop, the different coloured beads in between the spikes are really pretty. I love jewellery that is edgy but girly.
My ultimate bargain find was this stila tinted moisturiser. If you have the time and patience to properly look in places like poundland etc you can find some amazing things for next to nothing. I took a gamble with the shade of this moisturiser as they only had 1 but its the perfect match and if it wasn't it wouldn't have broken the bank. I also saw some sally hensen nail varnishes whilst I was in there but I was being good. 
Whats your best bargain find?



17 July 2012

tip of the day- nail art using scotch tape




This funky lil tip is courtesy of the beauty department (see here) and I cant wait to try it out myself. I am a massive fan of using house hold products in the aid of beauty and fashion, a roll of scotch tape costs around £1.00 and it can transform plain nails into something really cool and it is soooo easy. There are so many designs you could do. Scotch tape can also be used for masking off areas on the nail to create cool designs. 
Have any of you tried this before? 

xx



16 July 2012

angelica







Top- Topshop
Jeans- Zara
Shoes- New Look
Necklace- Debenhams
Bag- Gift 
Nail varnish- Primark (£2.50) Painted over a pale pink base coat

Your eyes are not deceiving you...I am wearing something other than my leigh jeans, although these do have saggy knees so I am not their biggest fan. The top is actually a dress but I like to tuck it into jeans for a more chic look and to be honest its quite tight and short so its prob best worn with something on the bottom half, unless I wanted to flash a bum cheek!!! The shoes are another new look bargain at £8.00 but I have never worn them, I think they accentuate my boat feet but they look ok face on. 
Lastly check out the dead ringer for models own 'indian ocean' and its half the price. I didn't even know primarni did nail varnish...what next, hair???

xx

BBloggers Unite- Blog hop

Just a quick one before I do my post later. I have just taken part in the BBloggersUnite Blog hop.

See this link for details http://www.bbloggersunite.com/

This is a great oppurtunity to meet new bloggers, gain blog traffic and find some great new blogs to read.

You should def take part.

15 July 2012

Todays outfir- Primark peplum





Top- Primark
Necklace- Primark
Jeans- Topshop
Shoes- Shoe Zone
So I have been MIA for a while due to loosing our camera charger but its ok I found it (in the first place I looked) and I am back to blogging.
I promise these leigh jeans aren't the only item of clothing I wear, I have a difficult relationship with my short stumpy legs and these jeans are the only ones I have that don't sag at the knees or fall down!!! However, whilst out shopping on Saturday for a dress for the wedding the bleeding button fell off and guess what...I was wearing a crop top, I never wear crop tops but hey just the day I decide to my pants decide to hate me. Luckily I was near primark so I ran it to get an emergency belt and saw this rather luminous neon yellow peplum top calling my name on the way to the till. It was only £4.00 it would have been rude not to. I also found a pretty good (cheap) dupe for a models own nail varnish which I will do a separate post on...ooooo the suspense!!!
                                           


12 July 2012

Charlotte Free- Forever 21



I have too much love for this girl. Recognised for her pink hair and angelic looks there is something so mysterious about Charlotte Free. Her contradicting angelic face with her rebellious fashion and hair is what makes her stand out in a sea of young aspiring models. She’s not your conventional model in terms of height and hair but that’s what makes her special she’s unique and people want her in their clothes.

She absolutely rocks every single piece in the Forever 21 spring/summer 2012 campaign. The grungy elements and her sultry pout mixed with girly pastel colours and her amazing bubblegum hair make for stunning pictures and I want to buy everything in the range.

Is she the next Kate Moss?

x

10 July 2012

ASOS blogger challenge



Playsuit £22.50
Blazer £30.00
Shoes £18.00
Bag £18.00
Necklace £10.00 

Total £98.50 

This is my entry for the ASOS blogger challenge. I had to design an outfit from the website that was under £100.00. Believe me it was not easy with so many nice pieces on there it took me ages to decide on a combination. I absolutely love this playsuit and I definitely think I am going to buy it for myself. (The earrings in the picture of the playsuit don't count as part of the outfit) I think each of these pieces reflect current trends   for spring/summer, I really love this outfit and wish I had £100.00 right now to buy it all!!!
Do you like my outfit?



I joined the Pinterest bandwagon!!!


Amazing arm candy!!



I am a massive Fossil fan and this rose gold watch is beautiful


I love the colour of this dress, I am also a lover of shift dresses




Errmmm a DIY for the marc jacobs cat loafers....yes please!!!!


There are no words for this apart from perfection



I am sucker for cute nail art and I love these colours



something warm and fuzzy to end on!!

xxxx



9 July 2012

New nude wedges

  



Meet my new shoes. I don't buy shoes often so take it all in!!! I was in search for some nude wedges for the wedding I am going to in August, I don't have a dress yet so I thought I would buy my shoes first.......go figure!!! Since the sad passing of my other nude wedges I needed to fill the shoe shaped hole in my life and I think these do the job just fine. £15.00 from Shoe zone of all places (rare find) and they are really comfy, thumbs up as I am def a comfort over beauty kinda gal. Most of the shoes from shoe zone are hideoussooo but lets not slag them off too much, they do have some nice shoes. The ones below are only a fiver and I think they are quite nice!!! Click here for the website
Click Here To Zoom In


                                                                             xxxxxxxxxxxx

6 July 2012

A-Z of me!!!

This is a bit late considering my blog had been around a while but I thought I would let you know some interesting (pointless) facts about me...Enjoy

Age: 24

Bed size: Double

Chore you hate: Hands down…washing up!! I would eat off paper plates if my boyfriend would let me!!

Dogs: If I had the time

Essential start of your day: Snoozing my alarm clock

Favourite colour: Purple

Gold or Silver: Silver

Height: 5 ft 3 and a half. The half makes all the difference

Instruments I play: I used to play the violin but I gave up when I discovered boys

Job title: Group conference consultant

Kids: One day

Live: Manchester

Mums name: Carolyn aka mother bear

Nickname: Lou, Laurie, Laurieloo, Lola, Lau, Lauz, Laura Kate, L.K. (how ironic…my parents called me Laura because it couldn’t be shortened, how wrong they were)

Pet peeve: Being let down

Quote from a movie: ‘Just keep swiimmiinnggg, swwiimmiinngggg, swimmingggg!!!!’  Shame on you if you don’t know the film!!!

Right of left handed: Right

Siblings: Lil sister

Time you wake up: too early- meh to full time jobs

Underwear: Whatever I can find in the morning!!!!

Vegetables you dislike: sprouts..who likes sprouts!

What makes you run late: losing my car keys

X Rays you have done: Teeth, Arm

Yummy food you make: Mexican I luurrvveee it

Zoo animal: Red panda


                                                                      XXX

why does it always rain on me!






Oversize tee, leigh jeans and boat shoes...I love this combo, its a little bit casual, a little bit glam. I got the t shirt a while back in new Look, its something that I wouldnt usually go for but the leopard print grabbed my attention so I tried it on. I am so glad I bought it because I wear it all the time, its so versatile. The bag is a gift from my mum for my birthday, I havent used it yet but I quite like how it looks with this outfit.
I have also found a new photo spot, it does require using a wheelie bin as a makeshift tripod but hey..the things you do for fashion!!!

Are you a fan off oversize tees?

XXX

5 July 2012

New blog design


I love my new blog design and I have Steph over at Bonjour Belle to thank for that. I am a raging technophobe so attempting to design my own was just out of the question. CCS codes hurt my brain and I don't have any fancy software. Steph has her own blog design shop and it is very affordable she is also really fast and super friendly. I really recommend her and she also has a great blog. 

Those of you who haven't checked out her blog you def should here  
Lolacolakate

The Beauty Department

I stumbled across this website on someone’s blog (I’m sorry I cant remember who) and immediately knew I had to share the wealth. It’s a really fun website designed to bring out the creative side in us girlies and is full of tips, tutorials and DIY’s. It is also pleasing on the eye, I love the layout of the website and its really easy to navigate.
It has inspired me to do tip of the week posts and my first one has been taken from the website itself.



This is such a good idea and really easy to do, spesh as using Bobby Pins really doesnt work for me and I am an avid lover of nail art.

Check out the website Here

                                                                            XXX

4 July 2012

my hair story






I am going through a hair rut....I need new hair. The top picture is what my hair looks like now and quite frankly i'm bored of my natural mousey browness (soz about the constipation face..sun was in eyes) I thought I would share with you a few colours I have dabbled with in the past and you could let me know your thoughts. I think my fav is the red but those bottle red heads out there will know its sooo hard to maintain a good colour as it fades so fast. 
This time I want to be brave and embrace shorter hair, I have always had long locks but I fancy a change. I stumbled across this pic of Miley Cyrus the other day and I have a big fat hair crush on her 

What do you think? 



P.s i pixellated my friends faces coz I didn't wana plaster their lovely mugs on the interwebs without their permish!!!

xxxx


3 July 2012

Todays Outfit- Pink h&m shirt



Me and this scarf get along great. We bonded over a £1.00 sale in Primarche a couple of years ago and along with this top it makes for a great combo. The top is another h&m buy, I do love it but it creases like a mother and for some reason I cant do up the top bottom because the collar if squiffy!! I think I am drawn to faulty clothes...hmmm!!


I went into Manchester after work to meet some of my Disney friends who were on a flying visit. We went for dinner in my fav restaurant and we showed Gianni (shes American) a typical English pub/bar. She didn't quite understand why we call it a pub but hey they call it a hole in the wall so whose gonna argue. 
I have eaten out too much recently, my cupboards are full yet I still find myself justifying a mid week curry!!

                                                                          XXX